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Sunday, August 27, 2017 12:06 PDT
Starting this thread for us to continue our conversation - felt like I had hi-jacked Daliolite's thread! I will be back - have some things to say!
Sunday, August 27, 2017 15:54 PDT
I'd thought the same, so thanks watergirl! I'm sure Daliolite will be pleased to have her thread back lol
Sunday, August 27, 2017 15:56 PDT
I thought I'd post up the last two entries we made on Daliolite's thread, just so we can keep continuity:
I've been spending some time in contemplation and feel like the black birds have all been a "hello" from my spirit guide starting way back with the friendly crow from my childhood. He is a native american shaman and from what I have been shown from a tribe that went extinct a LONG LONG time ago. It's funny because they were located not far from where I am now and if I get the next job assignment I think I am, then I will be smack dab in the middle of it. I think black crows have shamanism symbolism, but also wondering if maybe his name had "crow" in it.
He has been applying some "pressure" lately to get going with my spiritual path. I am surrendering (finally).
I'm thinking that I've ignored my own depression for too long, and that the symbolism of black ANYTHING is telling me to address it. I'm not sure what the cause of it is, but ... ? There has been a lot of insecurity and monetary pressure on me for years and it seems like it's coming to a head now. I'm at that point where I'm so exhausted from it I don't care if I do the wrong thing either, so that's scary!
Even saying the above, I still don't know which road I'm meant to be treading, which is confusing me no end!
Monday, August 28, 2017 17:15 PDT
I think the hormonal changes we go through at our age pretty much guarantees at least a mild depression. When is the last time you had a blood test? Thyroid issues, vitamin D deficiency, etc. can also play a part. I have an appointment tomorrow afternoon with an Endocrinologist. He specializes in hormonal and metabolic changes in women. Hoping it will help - I will let you know. Tomorrow is just the appt to have my blood drawn though.
I am getting that you are trapped in fear. Your own self-empowerment frightens you or maybe just the changes it would bring. You have the same hump that I do to get over - trusting that you will have the money you need when you need it. Using your gifts as a vocation - working from home - I still see this for you.
Is your man extremely analytical - like an engineer or the like? Or maybe that was about you releasing logic and trusting your gifts...
Monday, August 28, 2017 17:19 PDT
Oh...and I had a strange tingling in my lower legs when reading for you - below the knee, upper shin. Are you having any problems there? I usually only get tingles on my crown when doing readings so this was definitely something different and I think may be for you...
Wednesday, August 30, 2017 17:04 PDT
I am trapped in fear, and readily admit it. I'm so afraid of what to do next, of where the money is going to come from. We've been hit with a huge power bill here, keep running out of water - and neither we nor the owner can figure out why - and I'm foundering just a bit! I can't get work at my old job either because someone is preventing me from doing so, which coupled with the boss's lack of balls to make a decision of her own and I'm left without a mere two or three days a week livelihood.
So maybe the tingling you felt in your lower legs could be for me, although I get more pain in my feet and sciatic than anything. Sometimes though, my legs ache and ache and while i know that usually means moving on and forgetting the past, I'm having trouble digging my way out of that.
My partner is pretty analytical; he can figure out how to fix things by mere logic ... ah yes, the mention of logic! I can be a bit too practical for my own good and as for trusting my gifts, I'm not sure how to begin getting something off the ground working from home. I also admit to lacking confidence after this latest slap in the face from my old workplace. I'm wondering who my friends are and whether or not the house we're currently renting is going to turn out to be a money pit. No sooner do we think things are okay then something else goes wrong here.
I feel like Spirit is trying to tell me something and I'm not hearing it SIGH ...
Yes, I agree that menopause causes a mild depression because I haven't felt any real joy since it began. That feeling has carried on since I became post menopausal, and I feel overwhelmed and exhausted most of the time.
Now I just had a weird message for you: you are being pulled to an area that will ask you to acknowledge things from your past and to release them. Those black birds you've been seeing are playing a part too - I think I saw mention of black crows? There's also something about "gathering", but I'm not sure of its relevance to you. Hopefully it makes sense!? Your throat chakra needs clearing too.
I don't know about you, but I feel like screaming and hitting something or someone. Making them pay, but boy, that's not my nature usually, and it worries me a bit ...
Thursday, August 31, 2017 16:48 PDT
We are still in a period of reflection rather than action so try not to get too frustrated. Things will start to move forward towards the latter part of September.
Maybe the person at your old job preventing you from work is happening for a reason. Open yourself up to other possibilities and even a completely different direction when it comes to vocation. The "let go of logic and trust in the universe" thing - I know that's easier said than done when you have money worries. Do some calming/anti-anxiety type of exercise and/or meditation. Yoga would be great for you.
Don't worry about wanting to scream and hit things (or even people, lol!). It seems to be going around...my best guess is because the last eclipse was in Leo and we are all letting out our inner ROAR!!!
My throat has been sore since my last doctor's appt with the ENT!!! First she shoved a scope up my nose and into my upper sinus cavity like she was roto-rootering a dang toilet and then she grabbed my thyroid and man-handled it like she was going to rip it out of my throat with her bare hands! Talk about a bull in a china shop. Not going back to her.
There are issues of my past that have come up again for a revisit - part of the Mercury Retrograde I guess! You are not the first person to mention a gathering that I am supposed to attend. The hotel I work for now has it's Grand Opening the middle of September. I really don't want to go and so far have not been told that I must. I do have an excuse not to fly with my inner ear issues and have intended to use it. But why are so many people mentioning the "gathering" or "event" I wonder? Maybe it's something else entirely...
Friday, September 1, 2017 17:50 PDT
Sounds like you copped a butcher of an ENT! What a rotten experience :( I hope your throat soon recovers, but y'know, if it were me, I'd report her frankly!
Well, the message I got regarding "gathering" wasn't a meeting of people actually; it was more gathering of worldly goods, information, collecting ... that sort of thing. Of course, that could still relate to "collecting" people, but more in the arena of getting a group of people of like mind together, that sort of thing. I'm sorry I'm a bit sketchy on what this means, but a meeting like you're talking about, isn't what I thought it meant really!
As for this Grand Opening you mention, I'd follow your instincts and not go if you feel that strongly about it. How many times have we gone against our initial instincts about something or someone, and ended up suffering for it?
Just to acknowledge a question you asked before, blood tests I had about two years ago did prove menopause, but recent ones didn't really show anything much. I've often felt like I had a thyroid issue because weight just seems to cling on to me even if I cut down what I eat. But, blood tests don't show any deviation from the norm, so I guess most of my issues are all in my head lol!
On to the topic of my old job; a close friend has been trying to find out who it is who has a problem with me because she feels the whole thing is wrong and shouldn't have happened. I agree with her, but apart from my ego wanting to know the who and why, I am taking it as a message that I'm not meant to work in Health again (I even lucked out with another position I applied for that is under the Health umbrella) and even cleaning! Weird really, but I'm trying not to panic about where the money is going to come from and simply pick up a brush and keep painting this house we're currently renting. It's coming along wonderfully, and I'm really pleased with the results, as is the owner who comes and pops his head in every now and then. I think he's happy someone is finally wanting to help him get this house back to a semblance of its former glory, even though it IS a rental. I don't think that way though; I figure any place you live in, rental or no, is home and it should be treated that way. I've been ripped off in the past for my efforts, but I still won't give up on my attitude towards it, and figured that eventually I/we would find a landlord who supports those efforts and will appreciate them. I hope that's the case here, and all things so far are pointing to it being so.
I feel a bit calmer about the work situation though, and told my friend not to stress so much and not to hang herself on my account. She still works there and is really disappointed at what's happened and feels I should take things further. I may do, but at the end of the day, I don't think I'd want to work back there with a bunch of bitchy hags who can't see past their own noses anyway! Still, it's the principle of the thing that's got me annoyed, and that my good name is being sullied by the attitude/s of over-sensitive, narrow minded people. I'm sitting on it for now, and I'm sure Spirit will direct me to what avenue to pursue here, if any.
Why are we so bloody exhausted?? Pffffttttt ... I feel old lol!
Saturday, September 2, 2017 19:40 PDT
I don't think your issues are in your own head. You know that the test "norms" are based on somewhat of a bell curve and what's normal for one person may not be normal for the next. It also all ties in together - the hormonal changes of menopause, thyroid, etc. My initial doctor who diagnosed my thyroid condition left town so when I went to the next doctor, they told me my test results were "normal". I told her that for ME, a TSH level of no more than 2 is what works best for me (the test results showed almost 3). She ignored me. But that change of almost 1 point significantly changed my quality of life. Come to think of it, the initial doctor told me that the "norm" for TSH had changed and some old school doctors still think that a level up to 6 is "normal". Now the "new normal" is 4, but like I said, for me 2 is best. I went to an endocrinologist last week for the blood test - he's not just an endo, he specializes in hormone changes with menopause and looks at the entire system. Hoping he will be the new doctor I need.
If you want, I will do a reading specifically on the work "friend" - let me know!
Hope your house is looking wonderful and starting to feel like a home :)
Sunday, September 3, 2017 15:28 PDT
Yes, the house is starting to come along and the new paint colours have freshened it up and it's feeling more homey as I go along. My back's suffering though lol! Been at it for about a week without stopping, so might need to take it easy today more's the pity. Just want to get it done ...
What you say about thyroid results is very interesting. I've always tested "normal", although I didn't know what the normal range was/is supposed to be. Guess it may vary from doctor to doctor, but I've had this suspicion that thyroid could play a part in why weight is something that I'm stuck with. I might go back to the doctor and ask for what my thyroid levels tested at, and go from there.
I'd love a reading if you're able! I'm just curious as to who and how many said they didn't want me back and why. Admittedly I wasn't the easiest person to get along with a month or two before I left, but gee, what about prior to that? I think I may have mentioned this above, but why are peoples' memories so damn short? It did get me questioning who my real friends are here though, and it reminded me of an earlier reading you'd done for me about this move that did mention relationships, work, etc., so there's some validation for you :)
This new doctor will be very versed on modern treatments, etc. He'll take notice of you and listen properly. I think he'll mention wholistic treatments as well as conventional. I think he will be the doctor you need. I'm getting that he's a very enthusiastic person, and keen to learn new things. He may treat you as a guinea pig though, so be prepared lol!