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Love & Relationships » Soulmate or Life Mate?

Thursday, July 27, 2017 13:00 PDT

I thought this article by Sarah Bellum was interesting -

"There’s been a lot of talk recently about soul mates and twin flames. Doesn’t it sound exciting to say that you’ve found your soul mate? Of course it does! But the fact of the matter is, that your soul mate is rarely the person who is destined to be your life mate. Now I can’t carve this in stone and say, “Told you so.” All I can tell you is that this is how things have worked in my life, and this is what the countless people whom I have counseled have found to be true, too.

Soul mates and life mate are rarely the same thing. Why? Well, with a soul mate you have a connection to learn something from each other, teach something to each other, or pass through something together in order to grow your eternal soul. That is the definition of a soul mate. This person can be your parent, your child, your sibling, your friend or any other pivotal person in your life. It is rare that this person is your life mate.

A soul mate and a life mate are very rarely the same thing. Soul mate vibrations are higher than life mate vibrations, and to be physically intimate with a soul mate can taint the divine connection that we have with them. Sometimes the physical desires overcome that soul connection — we’re all human, after all! — and that is when the relationship changes from ‘soul mates’ to ‘kindred spirits.’ The connection with a soul mate tends to be one with whom we have a very profound, but non-sexual, relationship, such as a child with its parent, siblings, best friends, and so on. The lack of physical intimacy is what separates it apart and elevates i, keeping it on such a high and profound spiritual level.

Sometimes we meet someone whom we swear we have met previously. This can be deja-vu, or it can be that we have encountered someone who is a kindred spirit to us. Being connected to a kindred spirit means that we share some history, there’s a connection there that transcends the physical. This does not necessarily mean that it is on a soul mate level though.

This is getting heavy, are you still with me?!

Spirit guides are something again different. A spirit guide is not incarnate — by its very name it is spirit, yes? Spirit guides have learned the lesson of earthly incarnation and have transcended them. There is no longer any need to take physical form. Some schools of thought say that it takes many lifetimes to evolve to this level. Some people call these beings “Ascended Masters.” These beings are different to angels in that angels have never taken physical form, so that aspect of their awareness is missing; spirit guides are human first, and evolve up to the spiritual realms.

My own place on the fence is that, while it is important to remember that when we return to Spirit, we keep our soul identity, but our personality fades. We become part of a group of the “collective subconscious,” and while it is possible that we can appear to loved ones as the person whom we were in life, usually it is just that divine energy that makes itself known. Those of us who are still on earth to want that individual connection that we had when the other person was incarnate. However, if we can lift our vibrations up to the collective in Spirit, rather than seeking for them to come down to our dense and human form, we can interact with them on such a much more profound level.

That all gets very heavy very quickly. What I want for you to take from this article is the interconnectedness of all things."

What do you think? Have you found this to be so?


Friday, July 28, 2017 14:17 PDT


Thursday, August 3, 2017 13:40 PDT


Saturday, August 12, 2017 13:59 PDT


Tuesday, August 15, 2017 21:22 PDT

Somehow, in the midst of all the spamming, I missed this topic. I have been trying to learn about soulmates and lifemates. When I first wandered into this site, I wanted to educate myself. I was totally confused about what soulmates, life mates and twin souls were/are. I have learned much from being here and interacting with so many talented and knowledgeable people here. However, I have much more to learn about myself and my beliefs and my gifts. I also want to interact and learn from my guides and guardian angels, but it seems that I fail to see or understand how or if they interact with me. I suppose it is understandable that human reality makes this difficult. Your posting has given me much to ponder. I know you posted this week's ago, The Captain, but it's interesting that it popped out at me tonight
Thank you for this and other thought-provoking topics you put out. I don't always comment, but you teach more than you know.

Wednesday, August 16, 2017 13:53 PDT

I think people want their life mate and soul mate to be the same. But it may not work like that...

Wednesday, August 16, 2017 21:57 PDT

I agree. I was one of those people....now i see it just isn't that simple...

Friday, August 18, 2017 18:10 PDT

I stumbled across this thread too, and am glad I did.

Years ago, I constantly dreamed of the same man and finally met him. I was married at the time, but not happy. Backtracking a bit, I wasn't aware this man was the one I'd dreamed of when I did meet him, but felt a strange connection to him. I also wasn't attracted to him; just felt drawn his way.

After knowing him for a year or so, I started dreaming again, and this time, this man's face was in the place of the "faceless" dream man.

I did have some meetings with him after my marriage ended, but nothing came of it in a relationship sense. I was wanting it to be more, he did too, but backed off.

I still feel a connection to this man, but realise after reading this article - which I related to very well indeed - that he was a strong soulmate connection, but not meant to be a life partner.

It's funny, because now I'm sitting here being able to see the difference between being "attracted" to someone and being "drawn" to them. Both are strong feelings, but very different.

I agree totally where Sarah says that a physical relationship with a soulmate would break the divine connection. There was nothing physical between me and this "dream" man, but a very strong sense of being drawn towards him and yet physically we didn't quite get there; it was like something was preventing that from happening.

It was a feeling I'll never forget, and one I benefited from, even though at the time, it didn't seem that way.

Great post Captain! Thanks for sharing it :)

Saturday, August 19, 2017 14:30 PDT

I had the very same experience, Moonie. I met someone whom I thought was my perfect mate in every way and was very hurt when he was taken away. But looking back, I understand now that he only came to help me at a time when I needed help, and then was no longer needed once I was able to love myself more.

Saturday, August 19, 2017 15:31 PDT

There are so many different articles and attitudes about soulmate connections, it's confusing! After reading this one, it did answer a few questions I had, so it was a fateful "click" that brought me to this thread.

When this man ended our "friendship", I kicked him out of my house and told him not to bother coming back until he was brave lol! There was a fair age difference too; he was sixteen years younger than me, and I don't think he was made of stern enough stuff to withstand the opinions of others. Maybe I mightn't have been either come to think of it.

Still, like you, I think he was sent to get me to leave a situation I was not happy in (not for lack of trying), and again like you, to encourage more self love.

Don't you wish we could see these things for what they are at the time they're happening? Oh to be so wise then instead of in hindsight ... sigh. Still, lessons learned from getting it wrong are valuable and at least I was able to see then that I didn't want to be sneaking around in a relationship with a coward.